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Fact Check Resume

金牛国际最新地址It's tempting to embellish your achievements on your resume. The whole point is to put forward a representation of you that gets you hired. You're expected to put forward information that presents you in a positive light, but don't take it to the point of making up degrees and lying about what you've accomplished.

The Internet Knows Everything

Even if your potential employer doesn't do a full background check, they're likely to do a simple Google search on your name. If the information on your resume doesn't match what they find on Google, that will send up a red flag. And even if you pay a reputation management firm to try to push negative information down in the search results, the information is still out there. It's better to prepare responses to the negative information that show you learned from the situation.

Character Counts

Employees want employees they can trust. The job may involve handling money; it may involve handling valuable intellectual property. In every case, companies need to believe you'll be honest and treat their money and property respectfully. There's no worse way to prove you're honest enough for a job than lying about yourself before you're even hired.

You Set Yourself Up for Failure

If you manage to nab an interview, but don't have the skills and experience claimed on your resume, it's not likely to go well. Employers are likely to probe to verify you have the knowledge implied by acronyms and buzzwords, and if you threw them in just to get in the door, you won't make a good impression. If you somehow manage to actually get a job that requires the skills you claimed, you're not likely to succeed on the job.

You Can Get Fired

Don't think you're safe just because you got the job and you're managing to perform okay. You can get fired for lying whenever the company finds out about it. 

You Hurt Yourself

金牛国际最新地址Even if you fake your way through everything, get a job, and manage to succeed on it, you'll know it's all based on a lie. Protect your self-esteem and base your career on a solid foundation instead. If you think you need to lie about your accomplishments to get a job, there are other ways to buff your resume.

金牛国际最新地址You can take training to get the skills you lack, or complete an academic program to earn that degree. You can prepare answers to questions about why you should be hired despite lacking a specific certification or skill. And you can network to meet and impress potential hiring managers in person, rather than meeting them as a piece of paper.  It's far better for you in the long term if you take more time to find a job you're really suited for, based on your actual achievements than to lie to take a shortcut.

Published in Staffing News

Flexible Workplace

金牛国际最新地址Companies may fantasize about employees who devote their lives to the business, but the reality is that every worker has a life outside of the office. Creating a flexible workplace that balances the needs of the business with the needs of employees can be challenging. Here are five tips to help make it work.

1. Define the boundaries of the flexible work policy.

Flexible work can cover a range of alternatives. Are you permitting telecommuting, flexible hours, or both? If you permit flexible hours, are you allowing the flexibility to work four 10-hour days, or just shifting start and end times five days per week?

2. Define how communication and collaboration will be managed.

金牛国际最新地址Because workers are no longer all working the same hours from the same location, coordinating work activity becomes more challenging. Managers need to make clear how work issues will be raised and resolved when face-to-face meetings can't be called at a moment's notice. Consider using video conferences and other technology to get non-verbal feedback not expressed in email and phone calls.

3. Define how performance will be measured.

金牛国际最新地址When employees aren't on site, managers may have a tougher time assessing performance. Before agreeing to any flexible work arrangement, both the manager and the employee should understand the metrics that will be used to judge performance.

4. Provide the technology needed to work at home.

金牛国际最新地址While most employees probably have adequate Internet and phone service at home, companies should confirm all necessary resources are available. When necessary, companies should consider providing additional hardware and paying for higher network speeds to support at-home productivity. Companies should also make sure at-home computing is conducted securely and protects company resources through the use of VPN and other security tools.

5. Measure the effectiveness of your policy.

As the workforce in general changes, and as your employees change, your flexible work policy may need to change as well. New parents and soon-to-retire individuals may appreciate flexibility but have different needs. Periodically survey your employees to find out what kind of work flexibility, they want. Make sure your flexible work policy is itself flexible, and change it when needed to make sure it provides the flexibility your employees need.

Published in Hiring Managers

refining sourcing strategy

金牛国际最新地址How can employers best meet the challenge of sourcing top IT and engineering talent? Professionals with the right skills and experience can be in short supply or tough to find, and making the wrong hire can be expensive. Improving your sourcing strategy can help you to identify and attract the best people.

Improve Your Job Postings

Craft job postings that will interest and intrigue the people you want to attract. Treat potential candidates like your customers and your postings as your sell sheet. Once you've created an attention-grabbing post, share it where top IT and engineering talent is likely to find it, including:
• Your company website
• Major job boards, like Monster and CareerBuilder
• Niche job boards like Dice or TechCareers

Leverage Social Media

Technical professionals tend to be connected on social media. In order to attract them, go where they are. Keep your company social media updated and engage with potential employees on platforms such as:
• LinkedIn
• Facebook
• Twitter

Recruit Directly

Access to top talent may be easier than you think. Search online or internal databases to identify likely candidates or look to your current employees for referrals. Start your search here:
• Resume databases
• Internal databases of past candidates/contractors
金牛国际最新地址• Employee referrals

Reach out to Your Networks

If you're still not getting the results you need, cast your net wider to groups and organizations that cater to people with IT or engineering skills such as:
• User groups
• Alumni groups
• Professional networking
• Business schools/colleges/technical institutes

Enlist Third-Party Recruiters

Chances are, you have neither the time nor resources required to source top technical talent and still accomplish the rest of your goals. Consider enlisting these professionals to handle recruiting for you:
• Staffing firms
• Recruiters – contingent and retained
• Executive search firms
金牛国际最新地址• RPO (recruitment process outsourcing) firms

Once you’ve determined the positions you need to fill and the qualifications of the ideal candidate, put a strategy in place to identify and attract them. Write compelling job descriptions, post them in the most strategic sites and platforms, optimize the use of your internal and external resources. Most importantly, don't hesitate to reach out to recruiting experts who can manage your search while you focus on other tasks.

Published in Recruiting

Bitcoin Technology Extends beyond Cryptocurrency

Bitcoin, best known for being a form of digital currency with no fees and the ability to remain anonymous in transactions, has been gaining steady ground as an accepted online payment. But now, this virtual currency may be evolving into much more than a payment method.

These developments are not a direct result of Bitcoin itself so much as the technology behind it. Bitcoin’s unique underlying code makes it possible to handle a broad range of financial tasks that are now served by middlemen like banks, exchanges, and ecommerce providers — all for a fee, of course. But by using Bitcoin’s technology to drive financial transactions, fees for both buyers and sellers in the $1.22 trillion global ecommerce market could be significantly reduced.

That’s what a new crop of entrepreneurs, backed by major investors, are banking on.

The Internet of Money

BitAngels is an innovative angel investor group with a focus on backing projects that involve Bitcoin technology. In a recent interview, BitAngels co-founder David Johnston said, “People are just starting to realize that Bitcoin isn’t a currency and a payment system, it’s the Internet of Money.” He added that the investor group is currently considering more than 30 “Internet of Money” projects for backing.

金牛国际最新地址Even financial firms are now recognizing that the underlying technology of Bitcoin is extremely flexible and viable for financial purposes. Two of the most crucial functions this technology satisfies are authentication and payment verification — functions that are typically carried out by a third party. But with Bitcoin, the process is both contained and completely secure.

Blockchains: The building blocks of Bitcoin

Blockchains are the primary reason that Bitcoin shows such promise in multiple types of transactions. The building blocks of the virtual currency system are designed to validate each transaction — and they can be adapted for any type of exchange, whether or not they’re attached to a currency. Blockchains make secure, accurate authentication and verification possible.

According to investor group Andreessen Horowitz, which is now looking to fund startups based on this technology, “If you have online trust like the blockchain provides, you can reinvent field after field after field.” The group is considering funding for “a whole sequence of companies: digital title, digital media assets, digital stocks and bonds, digital crowdfunding, digital insurance” — all built around blockchain.

Theft-proof, zero-fee buyers and sellers

金牛国际最新地址Some entrepreneurs and startups are already diving in to the potential of Bitcoin technology-powered business. A decentralized bank and exchange called BitShares X, developed by Invictus, is set to debut in the second quarter of 2015. This exchange lets users save, trade, borrow, and lend all types of financial securities without using a bank or brokerage as an intermediary, with transactions handled on the users’ own computers and publicly verified (just as Bitcoin transactions are) — which eliminates the possibility of theft or fraud.

CEO of Invictus Dan Larimer said of the project, “With a traditional exchange, you send your dollars, and they record an IOU for so many dollars. The exchange can default on their IOUs to you — Mt. Gox [a Bitcoin exchange that was shut down after more than $450 million in Bitcoin went missing and was presumed stolen] is an example. In our case, no one can steal the balance from your account.”

In addition to extreme security, the use of Bitcoin technology makes it possible to eliminate fees, which are typically levied to pay for banking services, accounting systems, and account holder verification. The BitShares X system eliminates most of these fees.

Potential beyond the financial category

金牛国际最新地址The underlying technology of Bitcoin has potential for a wide variety of uses and service types. As a conceptual example, combining Bitcoin technology with wireless network-connected vehicles could create a self-organizing industry around courier services. Theoretically, anyone with a vehicle could become an independent courier, picking up and delivering packages on their commutes or while running errands — and use Bitcoin-powered systems to collect sender fees and get paid.

A company called MaidSafe has used the technology behind Bitcoin to develop an alternative to Amazon Web Services (AWS) and other cloud providers. The service allows users to share storage, processing power, or both with other users, rather than draw from a server network. MaidSafe is currently partnering with around 20 companies to develop web applications for the service.

As another example, San Francisco-based programmer Dave Cohen is working to revolutionize voting by developing a way to let users cast votes — and have the votes tallied almost instantly — through Bitcoin-based verification. Convenience and counting have long been issues for voting systems, and the security issues have so far prevented electronic voting from being adopted widely.

Bitcoin’s future may be the Internet of Money, and the technology that powers this virtual currency could transform the ecommerce landscape.


Securing Your Personal Data Online

金牛国际最新地址Throughout the digital shift, data breaches have been a serious and ongoing problem. Recent large-scale attacks resulted in malware-infected payments terminals and tens of millions of stolen card numbers from chain stores like Home Depot and Target. Part of the reason for these thefts is that, with the current magnetic stripe system, card information is stored inside payment terminals in an unencrypted form.

金牛国际最新地址But technologies like tokenization and near field communication (NFC) are making secure data possible — and Apple may be leading the way to substantially heightened online security with the launch of their new mobile payment system.

How Apple Pay works

金牛国际最新地址The latest phones from Apple, the iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus, are equipped with a mobile payment system that lets users pay for purchases in stores quickly and conveniently, right from their phones.

金牛国际最新地址This payment system uses multiple security features to protect payment information. The first is Touch ID, Apple’s biometric identification system already used in previous iPhones that identifies users by thumbprint. The second is NFC communication, which eliminates the magnetic stripe interface that is one of the leading reasons for security breaches.

But the most important security feature for Apple Pay is tokenization. The technology stores a 16-digit proxy number on a security chip inside the phone, rather than your actual payment card number. This “token” number is given to the retailer at the point of sale, and the retailer sends the token to the card issuer. Then, a trusted third party converts the token to the payment card number and sends it to the issuer — meaning the retailer never receives the actual card number.

The tokens also incorporate unique, transaction- and user-specific data, which prevents them from being reused even if they’re stolen.

Simplifying the user experience could lead to widespread adoption

金牛国际最新地址In a recent keynote speech, Apple CEO Tim Cook demonstrated how easy it is to pay with this solution: Users simply hold their thumb on the Touch ID sensor and tap the phone against a payment terminal. The entire transaction takes only seconds, and is substantially more secure than magnetic stripe transactions — or even other mobile payment solutions.

金牛国际最新地址Apple has always excelled at ease of use for its technologies, and the company’s entry into the mobile payment market could prompt the competition to step up their games. The more mobile payment providers offering easy-to-use solutions, the more retailers will adopt systems that accept these types of highly secure payments. In the time since Apple Pay was launched, competitor Google Wallet has already seen significant growth in usage and adoption from both customers and retailers.

Contactless NFC payment systems could provide the level of security required to make data breaches a thing of the past, especially if other providers adopt tokenization technologies to enhance security. Consumer data will be safer online, and the cumbersome and risky magnetic stripe system may be headed for obsolescence.

With Apple leading the way, widespread adoption of mobile payment solutions has a real chance of occurring — and the competition is sure to follow suit. If you want to know more about the future of personal data security or how it applies to your company, contact the IT experts at The Armada Group.



Your Dream Job isnt a Reality - Yet

If you’re still scouring job listings for that perfect position that uses your skills and meets your career goals, and striking out every time, you may be tempted to give up and settle for a job you can do instead of the job you really want. But don’t lose hope — because if your dream job doesn’t exist, you might be able to create it.

金牛国际最新地址You don’t have to limit your job search to advertised positions. With strategic research, active networking, and a sharpened pitch, you have a chance to carve out the perfect job and take control of your career.

Here’s how you can make your dream job a reality, even if it doesn’t exist.

Identify your dream employers

金牛国际最新地址The perfect job starts with a great employer — one with a mission you can get behind, co-workers you’ll fit right in with, and opportunities that will help your career move forward. Begin creating your dream job by developing a short list of employers you’d love to work for.

Once you’ve researched and chosen 10-to-20 possible employers, start looking further to identify potential opportunities for the position you have in mind. For each company, find out everything you can about:

  • What department(s) your dream job might fit into
  • Which departments are underdeveloped or emerging
  • What areas you could apply your skills that the company hasn’t considered yet
  • Whether you have any potential contacts or other ins at the company

Look to social media, career websites like Glassdoor and Indeed, and the companies’ websites, blogs, and press released for insight into this type of information, and then reduce your list to the most likely companies. Remember not to limit yourself to the positions the company has listed as available — you’re going to offer them something unique.

Activate your network

A network is the most powerful tool available for today’s job seekers, especially when it comes to applying for an unlisted job. You’ll substantially increase your chance of getting hired if you can connect with someone who:

  • Has inside information on what’s happening in your dream companies
  • Is able to offer you tips on getting noticed by the company’s decision-makers
  • Can directly vouch for your skills and abilities to potential employers

Look through your existing network, and your extended network, to find out what kind of connections you have or can make. LinkedIn is the best source for business connections, but you might also find connected people on other social media networks, at the college or university you attended, or even among your friends and family.

Once you’ve found potential connections, send out a short message that explains what you’re looking to do, and whether they’d be willing to make an introduction for you. However, if you can’t find any personal inroads to your dream employers, you can still try contacting recruiters or hiring managers directly.

Prepare your perfect pitch

Landing a job that doesn’t exist yet is a bit more challenging than applying for a listed position. Instead of just convincing employers that you’re the right person for the job, you also have to convince them that they need the job done in the first place. This means proving that if they hire you for the position you’re pitching, you’ll have a real impact on a key component of the company — whether that’s efficiency, lead acquisition, sales, or the bottom line.

金牛国际最新地址Use your best skills and achievements to prepare a pitch that explains just how you can help their company grow. Make sure your pitch incorporates ties to the specific company’s background, and be passionate about why you want to do this particular job for this particular company.

金牛国际最新地址Finally, if and when you land an interview, go in prepared to talk about the company itself, the industry in general, and even its competitors. Bring examples of similar positions at competitors, and demonstrate how you can help them achieve results. Remember that you’re selling not only yourself, but the actual job you want to do.

Creating your own dream job is a challenging but worthwhile endeavor. With research, preparation, patience, and persistence, you can turn a nonexistent dream job into a personal reality.

For help finding or creating the perfect position for you, reach out to the career experts at The Armada Group金牛国际最新地址. We understand what it takes to find and fill a perfect IT position, and place candidates every day in top industry jobs. 



The First Secret to Lifelong Career Success

金牛国际最新地址It’s easy to understand that there’s no single secret to success — if there were, everyone would be happy and successful. But successful people often have a lot in common, and by following those common denominators, you can achieve what you want from your career.

Here’s an example. What do Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, and New York Times bestselling author Greg McKeown have in common? All three of these incredibly successful people believe that the most important factor in their success is, in a word: Focus.

金牛国际最新地址Finding your focus — as a noun, and a verb — is the first step toward lifelong success in whatever career you’ve chosen.

The two meanings of focus

In a , McKeown states, “When people speak of focus, they usually mean having a single goal. It is a static thing, a thing you have.” This is focus as a noun — a fixed point around which all of your career activities are based. Your focus is your objective, the thing you want to achieve.

But in order to realize your focus, you must have the ability to focus, as a verb — and here’s where the secret to success diverges from the common viewpoint. Focusing does not mean honing all of your attention on a single objective. Instead, it means having the ability to see the bigger picture, and recognize unexpected opportunities that can lead to achieving your focus-noun.

Here’s what you can do to align both types of focus and accomplish your ultimate goal:

Ask (the right) questions

金牛国际最新地址If you’re looking for true career success, your to-do list simply isn’t enough to get you there. The best way to focus is to view your career on a bigger landscape — one that extends beyond the day-to-day and reaches into the future. You can accomplish this by setting aside regular time to ask yourself the right questions.

What are the right questions? Instead of focusing on the next promotion, ask yourself whether you want to be at the same company two years from now. Rather than reviewing your achievements, list the professional goals you had before your current position — and whether you’ve met them, or still want them. What makes you stand out? And can those qualities help you move forward, or do you need to invest in professional development to reach your objectives?

Make time to escape

Have you become your job? Many professionals believe they’re too busy to find the free time they need to pursue their own definition of success — but if Bill Gates can do it, so can you. One of the busiest men in the world steps away from Microsoft for two week-long breaks each year, and spends them reading, studying, and thinking about the bigger picture.

The time to escape won’t fall into your lap, so you must make it a priority to take time. Ask yourself: Do you really need to attend that meeting? Will things honestly fall apart if you take a few moments out of your day for thoughtful reflection? What can you read or do that will spark your excitement and get you motivated to focus?

Remember that your time is valuable

金牛国际最新地址Every successful person has the same number of hours in a day. The difference often comes down to how you value your time — do you claim it as yours, or do you give it away to others in the hopes of furthering your goals?

It’s essential for you to treat your own time as extremely valuable, and remove nonessential activities that prevent you from focusing. Make it a habit to cut down on the number of times you check your email, the number of people you hand out your personal phone number to, and the number of obligations you commit yourself to for others.

When you find your focus and commit yourself to doing something each day to reach it, success is practically guaranteed to find you. If you want partners in your journey to success, contact The Armada Group today. We know what it takes to be successful, and to place candidates in careers that launch them into future success.


Published in Recruiting


What You Need to Know Before Accepting an IT Job Offer

金牛国际最新地址The job description looks great. You research the company, and the culture seems like you’ll fit right in. You send in your resume, nail the interview, and accept the job offer — only to find that the job itself is nothing like you thought, and you hate it. But you can’t leave now, or you’ll be branded as a job-hopper.

金牛国际最新地址This scenario is all too common, but it can be prevented. Here’s how you can dig deeper and find out the truth about a company’s culture and actual working environment before you say “yes” to that tempting IT job offer.

Ask questions — and listen to the answers

During an interview, most job candidates are so focused on answering the questions in a coherent and hopefully impressive way that they fail to ask enough questions of their own. Employment experts consistently recommend that you have at least one inquiry prepared for what’s usually the final interview question, some form of “Do you have any questions for me?” But you should be ready to ask more than just one.

Ask the interviewer scenario-based questions about the company’s culture and available career paths. Find out how the IT department interacts with other departments in the company. Ask about top performers in the organization, what it takes to be considered a top performer, and what kinds of qualities are rewarded.

In addition to asking lots of questions, really listen to the answers. Trust your instincts on whether the answers sound genuine, if the interview offers natural-sounding stories to back up their claims, and whether the responses align with what you want or expect from the position.

Learn what you can from current and former employees

金牛国际最新地址There are few better sources to learn about company culture than the people who work there, or have worked there in the past. Use LinkedIn or other online resources to check out the company pages, and particularly the profiles of current employees. Look for indications of a clear career path, frequent promotions, and other signs of career satisfaction. This type of research can also help you prepare the right questions to ask an interviewer.

In addition to research, try to connect with the company’s employees. Talk with current employees and ask for an honest assessment of the good, the bad, and the ugly. Ask questions that are related to what’s important to you in a new job.

With former employees, you can learn more about company culture by asking why they left, and if they would ever consider going back. Just keep in mind that organizations change, and an issue that drove an employee away may no longer exist at that company.

Read company reviews and engage them on social media

In the age of transparent and abundantly available information, job seekers can find plenty of resources to help them learn more about the companies that interest them. Career websites like Glassdoor and Indeed offer company reviews, usually written by current or former employees, that can help you make your decision. However, remember to take these reviews with a grain of salt — the anonymous nature of online reviews allows for shills and disgruntled people alike to express biased views.

金牛国际最新地址Another way to get a good picture of a company’s culture is to follow them on social media, and pay attention to how they respond. Many companies share information about their culture through social networks, and those who don’t can give you insight by looking at the way they treat customers and job candidates online.

Accepting a new job is a big decision, and one you shouldn’t take lightly. Make sure you’re diligent in learning the true nature of a company’s culture before you say yes to that seemingly great job offer, and you can avoid the high cost of accepting a job you hate. If you need more assistance in your job search, contact the career experts at The Armada Group today!



Published in Staffing News


Conduct Regular System Checks to Survive compliance and security audits

金牛国际最新地址No one enjoys an audit. You know that compliance and security are vital areas for your IT department, but facing an audit in these areas is like heading to the dentist for a root canal. Audits always seem to come at the wrong time. And it doesn’t help that no matter how prepared you think you are, the compliance auditor is going to find something wrong — after all, they have to keep their job.

金牛国际最新地址Fortunately, you don’t have to suffer with anxiety every time a security or compliance audit is announced. By proactively addressing compliance and security issues, and performing regular checks that make compliance a year-round focus instead of an annual scramble, your IT department can rest easy when the auditor shows up.

金牛国际最新地址Here’s what you can do to handle compliance issues regularly and stay prepared for audits 365 days a year, while also handling your day-to-day IT project load.

Plan (and budget) compliance work for IT every year

Like most of the IT industry, compliance and regulations change continually. It’s essential for your IT department to work proactively on compliance every year, rather than simply catching up before (or after) an audit. The best solution here is to plan realistic budgets and implement new compliance measures as they come up, instead of waiting for an auditor to point out the fact that they’re missing.

Designate a compliance control point

Rather than spreading compliance tasks through your IT team on an as-needed basis, which often results in a last-minute rush before an audit, appoint one person as your compliance central command to plan and budget your needs. This ensures someone is always keeping an eye on compliance, and you’ll know about potential problems before they become major issues.

Some of the responsibilities for your control point should include:

  • Reading the latest compliance and security publications
  • Attending conferences on new or changing regulatory and security measures
  • Scheduling the IT work required to ensure consistent compliance

Perform regular self-audits

Waiting for your regulators to show up for an audit can throw your IT department into a minor panic. To help control audit fever, create a regular audit schedule and perform “dry runs” with either internal auditors, or a third party that is separate and distinct from your regulators. In addition to helping your department understand and experience audits, these practices also help to strengthen your company’s security and governance positioning.

Prep a single file for your documentation prior to an audit

When you have an upcoming audit, prepare a single binder or efile that contains all of your documentation for compliance, including procedures, policies, system flow diagrams, and anything relevant that pertains to governance or security. Presenting this file to an auditor not only makes their job easier, but also creates a favorable first impression of your preparedness — which can positively impact your overall assessment.

By taking proactive steps to address security and compliance issues before audits happen, you and your IT department can ease audit anxiety and come through the experience quickly and painlessly. Speak to the staffing experts at The Armada Group today, to ensure your company is compliant and to ensure all your staffing needs are met.



Published in IT Infrastructure


IT Jargon- 10 Phrases We Love

In the tech world, jargon is inescapable. These sneaky buzzwords and phrases creep into our lexicon almost unnoticed, and suddenly we’re spouting off terms like “synergy” and “paradigm” while our peers nod along — as if they know what we mean, any more than we do.

金牛国际最新地址The thing about jargon is that it’s nearly universal among IT professionals. It’s attractive because it’s almost like a secret code, the way school kids use Pig Latin so their other friends won’t know they’re talking about them. But just because we use it, doesn’t mean we have to like it — because let’s face it, jargon (and Pig Latin) can get annoying.

金牛国际最新地址Here are 10 popular IT buzzwords and phrases we can’t stand — and can’t stop saying.

The Cloud

What it’s supposed to mean: This nebulous term refers to the vast collection of data, programs, and infrastructures that are stored in and run from third-party data warehouses, and accessed through individual devices with Internet connections.

What it sounds like: 金牛国际最新地址Data heaven, where all the good little programs wait to bestow themselves on people with magic devices. The problem with “the cloud” is that everyone uses it, but most non-tech people don’t understand what it really means. Everything on the Internet is not in the cloud.


What it’s supposed to mean: The process of bringing a new employee on board and up to speed with the company.

What it sounds like:金牛国际最新地址 The process of bringing a new employee on board…a pirate ship. At sword point. And making them galley slaves.


What it’s supposed to mean: Using elements of game playing at work to make things seem more fun and drive a competitive spirit.

What it sounds like:金牛国际最新地址 Your bosses have just been replaced by Mr. Rogers and Dr. Seuss. Everybody have fun…or else!

Code Monkey

What it’s supposed to mean: A computer programmer, especially when referring to an inexperienced or unskilled programmer.

What it sounds like: All that training and experience you have doesn’t matter, because a monkey could do your job. In fact, we’re thinking of hiring monkeys and firing you.

Coding Ninjas / Rockstars

What it’s supposed to mean: This term is most often used in job descriptions to entice brilliant programmers and developers to work for a company. Flattery will get you everywhere.

What it sounds like:金牛国际最新地址 We get to show up at work in ninja outfits, carrying electric guitars, and sneak around the office blasting wicked riffs at unsuspecting co-workers. Surely, everyone will take us seriously then.


What it’s supposed to mean:金牛国际最新地址 The entire process of installing new software or hardware, testing it, fixing it, testing it again, fixing it some more, and finally getting it all up and running 30 days after the deadline. Or just installing, configuring, and smoothly launching software or hardware.

What it sounds like: Ready to install that new software? We’ll send five black vans full of IT people in full S.W.A.T. gear to your workplace, who will launch tear gas canisters through your windows before going in to attack your infrastructure. Don’t worry — we’ll keep the casualties as minimal as possible.


What it’s supposed to mean: [verb] To design and configure in the capacity of a software architect; to build a software architecture.

What it sounds like: Pretentious. Just say “build.”


What it’s supposed to mean: In software programming and development, an iteration is a phase at which improvements are made — in short, a do-over.

What it sounds like: 金牛国际最新地址We don’t want to seem really anal about changing the background for this app to gray instead of blue, so we’ll just take the “re” off the fancy word for do-over and pretend it’s all part of the process.

Data Mining

What it’s supposed to mean: The process of analyzing and sorting large amounts of data in order to extract useful business applications.

What it sounds like:金牛国际最新地址 Meet your new IT team: Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, and Doc. Don’t worry about those pickaxes — they’re highly trained professionals.


What it’s supposed to mean:金牛国际最新地址 To take something you’re already doing at work, and turn a profit from it.

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